10 Ways To Tell Your Altar Call Has Gone Too Long

As all know, our attention spans are getting shorter, due to the quick-cut editing techniques pioneered by MTV, increased workflow expectations made available by digital technology, and--OK, OK, I'll get to the point already.

Here's a little something I came up with the other day. Feel free to share with your pastor. He may not thank you, but your fellow congregants--OK!! HERE:


10 Ways To Tell Your Altar Call Has Gone Too Long

You realize you never knew "Just As I Am" had more than 10 verses.

The choir director orders a pizza.

People are claiming to have been "slain in the Spirit" just to have an excuse to lie down...and you're in a Baptist church!

The musicians start doing a James Brown-style breakdown of "I Surrender All."

Members start adding lyrics to the songs, such as singing "Take My Life...Please!"

The words to "I Have Decided to Follow Jesus" remind you to check your Twitter account.

You consider yelling "Fire!" just to make sure people are still able to move their limbs.

The sound man's usual stoic expression begins to resemble that of a Titans fan toward the end of the Bears game.

The wedding party booked for the following Saturday shows up to decorate the church.

You begin to suspect that your 24-hour antiperspirant may not hold out through the closing prayer.

Laundromat of Broken Dreams

My local laundromat has publicity head shots of Nashville artists & songwriters (some autographed) on the walls, a la the Bluebird Cafe. It's not an unpleasant place, but when I go (weekly now, since my washer connection broke), sometimes I can't help being reminded of this painting.

BCHS Reunion

Looking forward to the BCHS Class of 1982 Reunion.

77s Unplugged coming to Nashville!

In a town where at least a dozen amazing acts play every night, often for a bargain admission price, it can be tempting to take it all for granted. Not this one; not for me. And never mind the "unplugged"--the power will definitely be on.

The 77s Unplugged, featuring core band members Michael Roe and David Leonhardt, will make a rare appearance in Nashville on Monday, March 26, at The Basement, as part of the “Sticks and Stones” tour. The tour coincides with the digital re-release of the album of the same name on Lo-Fidelity Records. “Sticks and Stones” has been out of print since shortly after its original release in the 1990’s, and will now be available on CD and online.

The 77s is a band that has appeared in many incarnations over the years, with frontman Michael Roe as its central figure and torch-bearer. The talented, versatile and charismatic Roe uses his remarkable vocal range and guitar skills to synthesize rock, blues and gospel influences into a mesmerizing blend. Leonhardt’s percussion choices bring unique energy to every song.

Michael and David had this to say about the upcoming tour:

"It's been nearly 22 years since the release of ‘Sticks And Stones’ and it will be exciting to have the album available again and celebrate the re-release with the fans who have loved it and supported us for all these years. I am also thrilled to be able to come play these tunes for you with my ol’ 77s pal David Leonhardt, as we have not appeared together as a duo since the ‘It’s For You’ tour 15 years ago. Dave and I have always had a bit of ESP going whenever we perform and we’ve missed that magical musical experience (along with the ridiculous humor) ever since."
Michael Roe

"I am really excited to be playing again with Mike. We always have a great time together and our musical influences generate some interesting moments on stage. Sometimes it gets us in trouble, but we'll try to avoid that. ‘Sticks And Stones’ being re-released brings back lots of great memories and it will be fun to revisit those songs on the tour. That album had some of the coolest songs from that era, and this tour should be a great musical experience with ‘Sticks And Stones’ as the background. Can't wait to see all of you again!"
David Leonhardt

Get a taste of the music at www.reverbnation.com/77s

77s Unplugged (Michael Roe and David Leonhardt)
"Sticks And Stones" tour
Monday, March 26
Doors 6:00 pm, Shotwime 7:00 pm
Tickets - $10 at the door

The Basement (below Grimey's New & Pre-Loved Music store)
1604 8th Ave S., Nashville, TN 37203
615.254.8006
www.thebasementnashville.com
(The Basement is a 21+ venue. No exceptions.)

"Wings"

This weekend I watched the newly-restored film "Wings." It's a silent film about WWI fighter pilots (not to be confused with the TV series from the 90's with the two brothers and the fiesty blonde). It was the 1st film, and the only silent film, to win the Academy Award for Best Picture. It stars Clara Bow, Charles "Buddy" Rogers, and Richard Arlen...and my grandmother's 2nd cousin, Jobyna Raulston, from South Pittsburg, TN. She was overshadowed by Bow, Rogers and Arlen, due to less screen time and not being a big star already; she was known to many because of her roles in Harold Lloyd films ("The Freshman" is a gem). Bow was, of course, box office gold. Even now, most people only mention THREE stars when they refer to the cast; in fact, Ralston is misidentified as Bow in the one IMDB pic of her. But at least she got billing over newcomer Gary Cooper!

A restoration of the film was released early this year, with an optional new soundtrack with orchestrated music, and sound effects recreated at Skywalker Sound (don't worry, I heard no light-saber swooshes or laser cannon shots). I hear the also-recently-restored Princess Theater in South Pittsburg will be screening some of Ralston's films...I daresay this will be one of them.

Ralston and Arlen portray a young couple in love (like most men, he's more enthusiastic about it than he looks here). The two actors later married and had a child together.

Coincidentally, this was also the weekend I was able to catch up with the storylines of the second season of the BBC series "Downton Abbey" currently showing on PBS (it's like reading a novel, with better casting). I watched the entire first season on Hulu Plus (huzzah for the one-week free trial membership!). Like "Wings," the series is set in the WWI era. Both even portray their respective soldier characters carrying good luck charms into battle.

Prior to THAT, I was looking through my Grandmother Vaught's old pictures and documents (again) and discovered a little more detail about my grandfather's outfit in WWI (my grandparents had my mother late in life--I'm still very young, of course). He was part of the 6th Heavy Mobile Ordnance Repair Shop. They were basically the AAA of the A.E.F.

Though I never knew my grandfather, and my grandmother was old even when I was born, it's fun to imagine them going to the movies in Chattanooga, watching cousin Jobyna on the big screen, my grandfather ("Beau," short for Wiley Beauregard Vaught) making his Harriet (a.k.a. "Hallie" to some) giggle with the occasional wry comment about Clara Bow and his own experiences in Europe. He claimed he spent most of his time riding trains and avoiding battles, but then he wasn't one to brag, especially since Harriet's brother Al was career Army and on his way to Colonel (Brigadier General if he'd lived a little longer).

After all this time thinking about life and war 100 years ago, I'm not sure I have any brilliant insights as a result, but I'm chewing on it. The issues of conflict, bravery, love and loss are always worth considering. A lot can be learned from the stories of those who survived the worst, and even enjoyed life in the meantime. Even if they weren't famous.

Proof of Fountain of Youth Found!

Take a look at the fan visible just above George Harrison's head. Look familiar? I can think of no other possible explanation than sorcery. I wonder if he had any inkling he'd be playing the character of Jack on the popular TV sitcom "Will & Grace." Oh, but of course that must have been in the contract he signed...WITH THE DEVIL!!!

BBQ 4 NYE!

I'll be doing the folk/pop/country/blues/etc thing at John T's BBQ to get an early start on the New Year's Eve celebrations. If you have big plans, you can come by for a "warm up" for later with some music and a meal (you'll need your strength)...AND if you're the type to skip the parties and screaming crowds and turn in early, this will be a great way to ease from one year to the next!

John T's BBQ
115 First Ave. NE, Winchester, TN 37398
(931) 967-9600

"Silver and (Ring)gold..." Dec. 22

The Mark Kelly Hall Christmas Ensemble, with singer/songwriters Mark Kelly Hall and Charlsey Etheridge, along with a surprise special guest or two, will bring a holiday mix of original tunes and “songs you already like” to the Acoustic Café in Ringgold, GA, on Thursday, December 22. The family-friendly acoustic show will feature a blend of blues, pop, folk, ...and NO matching outfits...and will start at 8 pm.

Admission is free, but as always, sincere compliments, tips and lucrative recording and/or publishing contracts will be accepted.

The Acoustic Café is conveniently located near the Ringgold/Lafayette exit off of I-75, and offers a menu of sandwiches, sides and more. For info and directions go to ringgoldacoustic.com or call 706-965-2065.

Acoustic Café
www.ringgoldacoustic.com
61 RBC Drive
Ringgold, GA 30736
Phone: 706-965-2065

Have a (Celtic) Cup o' cheer!

It's time again for what is becoming a holiday tradition (hey, we work with what we've got!). The Mark Kelly Hall Christmas Ensemble will help celebrate with some acoustic music & a few corny jokes thrown in for good measure.

I'll be teaming up with Charlsey Etheridge and instrumentalist Daniel Heacock to share the holiday spirit. There may even be festive hats! Feel free to wear your own.


The Celtic Cup Coffee House
Find it on Facebook
106 North Anderson Street
Tullahoma, TN 37388
Phone: 931-563-7733
Free admission

Another Pleasant Valley Sunday Brunch, Sept. 25

OK, I'm not sure about the "Valley" part, but the rest is the Gospel truth. A great time to be had at the Listening Room! Featuring some pioneers in the world of contemporary Christian music who have continued to create music that speaks to all audiences...that means you!

Brunch is from 10am-2pm and features Eggs Benedict, Croque Monsieur, Croque Madame, French Toast, Mini Quiche Lorraine, Omelet Du Jour and more. (Regular ol' menu items are available, too, if your tastes run to the familiar like mine).

This week's performers:
Noon-1PM: Steve & Annie Chapman, Bill DiLuigi and Bonnie Lee Panda
1PM-2PM: Pam Mark Hall with Jerry Chamberlain

(No, I'm not related to Pam; the fact that we share 2 out of 3 names is sheer awesome coincidence).

I doubt Jerry C. will be pulling out any of the Daniel Amos tunes known and loved around the world...much less those by the Swirling Eddies, another of the bands his talents helped make semi-famous...but there's always hope.

The Listening Room Cafe has been voted one of the top music venues in town. It's in the Cummins Station building (the giant brick bldg. off the Demonbreun exit) in downtown Nashville. Park free on 10th Avenue or in the designated lot across the street just past the end of the building.

Sunday Brunch Rolls On

This is a great place to meet up for a bite after church or before the ballgame. Or just keep tabs on the Titans on TV as you enjoy the music with your meal--best of both worlds!

Brunch is from 10am-2pm and features Eggs Benedict, Croque Monsieur, Croque Madame, French Toast, Mini Quiche Lorraine, Omelet Du Jour and more. (Regular ol' menu items are available, too, if your tastes run to the familiar like mine).

This week's performers:
11am-noon: Gary Talley (guitarist for the Box Tops)
Noon-1PM: Jennifer Brantley, Rachel Morgan Perry
1PM-2PM: Karen Staley ("Take Me As I Am," "Keeper of the Stars")

The Listening Room Cafe has been voted one of the top music venues in town. It's in the Cummins Station building (the giant brick bldg. off the Demonbreun exit) in downtown Nashville. Park free on 10th Avenue or in the designated lot across the street just past the end of the building.

Sunday Brunch @ the Listening Room, Sept. 11

The first brunch was so much fun, we're going to do it again! Also it was planned already.

Brunch is from 10am-2pm. Come by for Eggs Benedict, Croque Monsieur, Croque Madame, French Toast, Mini Quiche Lorraine, Omelet Du Jour and more.

And what would a Nashville event be without live music? And on Sunday morning in the South, naturally you can expect to hear some Gospel in the mix. This week's performers include multi-instrumentalist Tom Shinness, Charlsey Etheridge, Sabrina, J.P. Williams and yours truly.

The Listening Room Cafe has been voted one of the top music venues in town. It's in the Cummins Station building (the giant brick bldg. off the Demonbreun exit) in downtown Nashville. Park free on 10th Avenue or in the designated lot across the street.

Sunday Brunch at the Listening Room

Sunday Brunch at the Listening Room Cafe kicks off this weekend. The Listening Room Cafe has been voted one of the top music venues in town. It's in the Cummins Station building (the giant brick bldg. off the Demonbreun exit) in downtown Nashville.

Brunch is from 10am-2pm. Come by for Eggs Benedict, Croque Monsieur, Croque Madame, French Toast, Mini Quiche Lorraine, Omelet Du Jour and more. (Is breakfast really better in France? Must be).

Live--but not loud--music will also be featured, including Gospel music of all styles. This week's performers include Brandon Maddox (noon-1pm), and Terry Thompson and Josh Helms (1-2pm).

See listeningroomcafe.com or call 259-3600 for info.

The rest of the month will feature more great artists, including "guitarpist" (my word, not his) Tom Shinness, Gary Talley of the Box Tops, Karen Staley ("Keeper of the Stars"), and my buddies Charlsey Etheridge, Sabrina, J.P. Williams and Bill DiLuigi. On Sept. 25, we'll enjoy music by veterans of CCM Steve & Annie Chapman, and my semi-namesake Pam Mark Hall. She's planning to bring some friends, the mere mention of whose names will send a thrill through the spine of the any dedicated fan of Daniel Amos, the Swirling Eddies and the Choir. And a DX-7! Seen one of those lately? If you listened to CCM in the 80's, you definitely heard more than one.

Jenn plus Sabrina equals one great show

Y'all go to this, and tell 'em I sent you! (You may not get anything extra by telling them, but it'll make me look like a well-connected mover and shaker).

Sabrina (www.reverbnation.com/sabrinasongs) is a riveting performer whose songs are infused with positive energy and an abiding sense of hope. Her style is reminiscent of Tracy Chapman or Richie Havens.

She has shared stages around the country with her talented friends on the Nashville Songwriters Tour and the No Divas Tour. She is a recent winner of a popular open mic contest at another local venue.

Jenn Franklin (www.jennfranklin.com) has been compared to Sarah McLachlan and Aimee Mann.

With the release of her first full-length album, Girl Invisible, Franklin is primed to build on the critical success of her debut EP, Errors & Admissions, a six-song EP that earned national airtime on more than 170 college and independent radio stations, with two of the songs also showing up on MTV’s “Real World Hollywood.”

Franklin has been featured as a showcased artist for the SXSW Music Conference, and she’s also earned headlines at events like the Midpoint Music Festival, Midwest Music Summit, Diversafest, International Folk Festival and NY Songwriters Showcase.

www.eatatgooddog.com
34 Frazier Avenue, Chattanooga, TN 37405-3931
(423) 475-6175

Impressive!

Shakespeare has seldom been so entertaining. Or schizophrenic.

The rubber band of Damocles

So now I have THIS hanging over my head.

I often idly shoot a rubber band into the ceiling and catch it again. My brother Chris used to do the same basic thing when we were kids, only he'd lie on his back, and toss a baseball straight up and catch it in his glove, over and over. This is just easier, and less likely to create unwanted holes in the plaster or bruises on the face.

So this happened. The rubber band caught in the ceiling texture, and is hanging above me as I type. I assume this is not an unprecedented occurrence, but I thought it was amusing, and you never know when the Guinness people (as in world records, not ale) are paying attention, so here it is. I'll be glad to update anyone who's interested over the coming weeks and months as to whether it's still there or not. It would be reassuring to know someone has even less of a life than I do.

Guess this would have been part of legend already, if the Greeks had fought with these instead of swords.

Henry Cho Comedy Show TV taping July 25

This sounds like fun.

Got the below message from Rik Roberts, a clean comic based here in Nashville. By "clean," I don't mean he bathes regularly...though I assume he does. I mean he does family-friendly comedy. It's actually more of a challenge to get laughs that aren't at least partially dependent on the shock factor that vulgar language entails. That's MY excuse, anyway.

Henry Cho is another clean comic. You may have seen him on TV. He jokes about being a Korean and a (U.S.) Southerner (simultaneously). I'm pretty sure I glimpsed him on campus at UT, Knoxville, on a game day long ago. I think he's from Knoxville. Apparently he's a UT fan...so he's got THAT going for him, too.

From Rik:

You're invited to join the crowd as we tape the pilot episode of the "Henry Cho Comedy Show". The show will feature comedians, country music stars as well as sketches and video. Tix are only $5. If you come out I'll give you $5 off my new cd coming in a few weeks. So you really can 't lose!

Location: The Fontanel Mansion
4225 Whites Creek Pike, Whites Creek, TN
Time: 8-11 PM CST.
Tickets available here.
The show will air on September 8th on GAC, 7 PM CST.

POST-SHOW POST: This show was funny...my face hurts from laughing. Look forward to see the edited results on Sept.8 on GAC.

PT in PT (Pat Terry in Portland, TN)

Just another brilliant tip on an event to add to your schedule: Pat Terry will be in concert on Thursday, July 14, 7pm at Immanuel Baptist Church in Portland, TN, near Nashville.

Pat's songs and presentation are sometimes quirky, sometimes poignant, but always compelling. He is one of my musical heroes from way back, and I am far from alone in that.

He is well known to many from his days in the Pat Terry Group, who were part of the first wave of contemporary Christian music, a.k.a. "Jesus Music," in the 70's. Some know him for his hard-hitting, hard-rocking solo work from the 80's. Still others know his work from the liner notes of some very successful artists, as he eventually made a name for himself in the Nashville country market as a songwriter. His credits include hit songs performed by Sammy Kershaw, Tanya Tucker, Alan Jackson, B.J. Thomas, John Anderson and more.

Pat's latest work is as good as anything he's ever done, which is saying a LOT.

This concert is the opening event for the 2011 National Conference of The Fellowship of Mere Christianity, "a group of evangelical churches united in orthodox belief, respect, charity and accountability." Any group named after a C.S. Lewis book has to be a fun bunch of folks, right?

Immanuel Baptist Church
751 Scattersville Road, Portland, TN 37148
Phone: 615-325-5185
Thursday, July 14, 7pm
Admission is FREE

More good times at Good Dog, June 25

I and possibly a special guest or two will be providing you music by which to consume mass quantities. Good Dog is a neat little restaurant on the North Shore of the Tennessee River, across from downtown Chattanooga. It's adjacent to Coolidge Park, which is a great place to get some sun and ride an old-fashioned carousel before dinner.

So bring the kids and leave the low-carb diet at home!

Saturday, June 25, 2011
6 - 9 pm

Good Dog
34 Frazier Avenue
Chattanooga, TN 37405
(423) 475-6175
No cover

Connecting the dots

They say fashion is cyclical. Well, people who can pronounce "cyclical" say it; other people say "hang onto that, it'll come back." My best friend can now be glad he still has his Members Only jacket, since those have become retro hip. (Never mind he never stopped wearing it--he still gets points).

When I saw this dress on this reporter for the Nashville local news, it took me back to a book I remembered from my childhood. Thanks to Google Images, I can prove that juvenile literature has had an influence on fashion beyond those red-and-white-striped hats worn with a touch of ironic intent by fun-loving concertgoers.

Fortunately, this look totally works for her (at least in my considered estimation). She can read to me anytime, anywhere. (Yes, that may be kind of sexist, but it's OK; this is a blog, not a company newsletter).