Saturday, November 10, 2012

Granddaddy Vaught heads home

In honor of Veterans' Day, here is a picture of my grandfather, Wiley Beauregard Vaught, with some army buddies on their way back from Europe aboard the Japanese vessel, Awa Maru of "Tokio," March 1919.  He's the one on the far right side of the pic, facing to the side in a dramatic, intense fashion.  It's as if he anticipated the album cover photo pose for male groups by several decades.

Granddaddy Vaught was part of the 6th Heavy Mobile Ordnance Repair Shop of the American Expeditionary Forces. I suppose so were some or all of the guys pictured.  He died before I was born, so I never got to hear his war stories (or any others), but according to my dad, he claimed he & his unit mostly rode around France on trains and avoided any actual conflict.  I assume that's an exaggeration (he went on to be a used car salesman), but I'm sure it felt like that at times.  We still have his cane with a metal point with his name and army affiliation engraved on it.

He clearly had a sense of humor; that is one of the things my mom found so attractive in my father much later.  Not sure if the Japanese sailor knew WHY it was funny for him to pretend to have this American soldier in custody, but he probably figured it out.

Despite what the news clipping headline may imply, he was originally from Stevenson, Alabama, and lived in Chattanooga at the time.

10 Ways To Tell Your Altar Call Has Gone Too Long

As all know, our attention spans are getting shorter, due to the quick-cut editing techniques pioneered by MTV, increased workflow expectations made available by digital technology, and--OK, OK, I'll get to the point already.

Here's a little something I came up with the other day. Feel free to share with your pastor. He may not thank you, but your fellow congregants--OK!! HERE:

10 Ways To Tell Your Altar Call Has Gone Too Long

You realize you never knew "Just As I Am" had more than 10 verses.

The choir director orders a pizza.

People are claiming to have been "slain in the Spirit" just to have an excuse to lie down...and you're in a Baptist church!

The musicians start doing a James Brown-style breakdown of "I Surrender All."

Members start adding lyrics to the songs, such as singing "Take My Life...Please!"

The words to "I Have Decided to Follow Jesus" remind you to check your Twitter account.

You consider yelling "Fire!" just to make sure people are still able to move their limbs.

The sound man's usual stoic expression begins to resemble that of a Titans fan toward the end of the Bears game.

The wedding party booked for the following Saturday shows up to decorate the church.

You begin to suspect that your 24-hour antiperspirant may not hold out through the closing prayer.