Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Does this include my bonus?

The job search continues. Not a fun time to be out of work (I mentioned my situation to a woman next to me as I was waiting to get my hair cut, and her response was a slightly sarcastic "Good luck!" Thanks for the encouragement, ma'am).

But you have to keep a sense of humor during the process. At least I do. A search of local positions offered by a placement service yielded the above result (click the pic to see the bigger version). Check out the salary on the Credit Analyst job at the bottom.

Yep, that's $95,680,000...almost 100 million dollars (per year, I assume). Seems a tad high, but as the page with more details clarifies, the salary could actually be much lower; it gives a range of $87,360,000 - $95,680,000. So it's not quite as unreasonable as I first thought; but still....

The job description doesn't mention it, but given what we've heard about how certain other companies are rewarding their top leaders, I suspect duties include "doing irreparable damage to the national economy by misusing other people's life savings" and "running an established financial institution into the ground" or even "maintaining a distance from common sense and monetary realities at all times, even if your actions become the subject of congressional investigation." Just a hunch.

Which reminds me, anyone care to be a reference for me?

[I mentioned the probable typo to the woman who answered the phone when I called--just in case--and she was quite surprised and amused. Thought you might want to know.]

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Brandon and his Wonder Kids

This is my nephew Brandon with his two daughters, Candace and Katelyn. As if they weren't already blessed enough as it was, being related to me and all (cough!) they're a special group.

Brandon's a great dad (I can only assume this is due in part to the time I spent babysitting him early on) and a great guy.

Candace's gift speaks for itself; she has the power of hypnotizing you with her cuteness. But if you want to get close you have to wait for her initial shyness to subside; then she'll realize how cool you are and will be quietly fascinated with everything you do (especially if you show her pictures of her and people she knows).

Katelyn is cute as well, of course, but with the outgoing, toenail-painting tomboy energy of a young Lindsay Lohan (very young, as in young enough to avoid certain pitfalls and poor lifestyle choices that may make headlines but are not worthy of her; think Lindsay in The Parent Trap, NOT the Enquirer) combined with, say, the Tasmanian Devil from the Warner Bros. cartoons. Plus, she has a potential role in that TV show "Heroes" (I've heard it's good), or maybe the circus, given her gift of stretchiness. It's not as obvious in the picture as in real life, but her arms are twisted all the way around here; not something for the weak of heart to behold. Don't try this at home. Or anywhere folks are having dinner.

AND, as if that weren't enough (and some would say it were), she folds easily for transport, which is good, especially if that circus thing works out. Which, given her high level of scholastic achievement so far, should be a cinch. I can only take partial genetic credit for that; both her parents are pretty smart and have managed to pull her away from her recreational pursuits (including motorbikes) long enough to study. Of course, if she gets the call to do the next Herbie the Love Bug movie, she can do her own stunts. I'll make sure she puts that on the application.

Monday, December 01, 2008

An automotive milestone

So, OK, I forgot to monitor the speedometer after I left my parent's house on Friday, despite the fact I'd mentioned its upcoming 200k birthday several times in the past few days, including right before I left. So I missed getting a picture of the exact number (not that I couldn't PhotoShop it, but we have enough revisionist history going on, do we not?). At least this makes it easier to remember the year it happened, right?

I bought my Pontiac Sunfire in 1998, when it was a year or so old and was being put out to pasture by the rental company that owned it. It had about 30,000 miles on it at the time. The fact that the car is still running strong after all this time and mileage (all things considered) is due to a few things. I've had good mechanics I could trust, and I don't try to work on it myself; that has to be one factor. Another is that the engine was replaced after the original one died on me about four years ago. The car had 129,300 miles on it, and the replacement engine had (as best as my mechanic Jon could determine) about 60k on it. Jon, the most meticulous mechanic you're likely to meet, did a great job; let me know if you want his info.

Musician Eubie Blake said on his 90th birthday, "If I'd known I was going to live this long, I would'a taken better care of myself." I have to admit I feel the same way about my car, at least where cosmetics are concerned; I wish I had spent the money long ago on the paint job it's needed for years. Or, better, worked harder so I could afford to replace it. Sure, it gets good mileage (SUV owners, pay attention; gas prices will go back up), and it's paid for, and I don't have to worry too much about theft...but what can I say...I'm a guy, so looks matter. On the other hand, at least I don't have to worry about any women agreeing to go out with me just so they can ride in it.

Plus, I can't help but think of how, when the Israelites were in their 40-year "tour" of the wilderness on their way to the Promised Land, the Lord made their clothes and shoes last a miraculously long time. Not claiming a miracle, necessarily, but when my car starts, it's close enough to divine intervention for me.