You can build on the basics, but you can't go beyond them

I don't claim to know a great deal about economic or political matters. From what I've seen, this makes me a perfect candidate for political office. But I digress.

I DO know that sometimes things don't SEEM to make sense because they DON'T make sense. In complex matters, we tend to assume the people who are involved in leadership know what they're talking about, and if we only knew as much as them, we'd agree.

But the current state of the world is proof that, generally speaking, the same basic principles of economics apply on a large scale as well as a small scale. If you don't have money, it's not wise to spend it on non-essentials and assume you'll be able to afford it eventually. If someone can't afford to buy a house, it's not wise to sell them one. If you make a bet, be sure you have the valuables to back it up (or at least a clear path to the back door).

So since it's not possible to elect Jim Rockford to office (what with his being a fictional character and all), maybe we could at least draft Dave Ramsey into an advisory position. Too bad more people haven't listened to him all the years he's been teaching financial principles that make sense. I'm including myself in this.

Here's an article that demonstrates my point. It's hard to say at this point that one political group or the other is to blame for the economy, because 1) no one really understands the economy and 2) too many people on both sides of the aisle were making bad decisions or failing to make good ones. But this article may be enlightening "for those who have ears to hear." (Hint: if you're a big fan of Barney Frank and/or the Democrats, you may not enjoy this).

Too bad we couldn't vote for this guy last November

I don't remember at what point I started watching "The Rockford Files," the crime drama with a touch of comedy that aired for six seasons in the 70's. Since it started when I was ten (in 1974), I doubt I was on board from the beginning. But by my high school years, Friday nights were "The Rockford Files" and Oreos fresh from the snacking bonanza that was grocery night. May not sound like much (don't worry, I'm making up the social losses now vicariously, through "Friday Night Lights"), but it was enjoyable and intellectually stimulating and a heck of a lot better than some of the stuff my peers and siblings were into.

I thought it was a cool show. Cool car, cool music, and a cool guy. His appeal was that, in a town that emphasized trendy fashions and outward appearances, he was a regular guy with a taste for cheap food and with flaws he readily admitted, but who made the best of his talents and did a lot for justice. The theme music said it all; cool L.A. rock accented by a bluesy harmonica that said "I'm me, take it or leave it." He was John Wayne in a Trans-Am.

And while he preferred not to get into more trouble than necessary, and despite his often-mentioned aversion to guns, he didn't run from a fight when it came to him (and fights did come, at the rate of at least one per episode). OK, sometimes he did run...and when he didn't, it was often because he was tied up or being held by a couple of big goons.... But he was prudent, is what I'm saying. This made him good at his job, regularly saved his life and, of course, brought much appreciation from the ladies. The latter was at approximately the same per-episode rate, including a character played by Lindsay Wagner, later to be known as Jamie Sommers, the original Bionic Woman. No wonder we admired him. And like "Richie Brockelman, Private Eye" (remember Richie?), we aspired to be like him.

And thanks to Netflix and the DVD nostalgia market, I've been gratified to see how right I was about this show; despite (or because of) the dial phones, primitive keyboard incidental music and the occasional shot of an AMC Gremlin or Chevy Nova, it still holds up. Or maybe I'm the same guy, with the same aspirations to be cool, drive a cool car, live an adventurous life...and date Jamie Sommers.

Wonder where I can get myself a dial phone?

T-shirt slogans for people who don't like T-shirt slogans

I ran across an ad while wasting time on Facebook, and was glad I broke my usual policy of ignoring online ads. So I figured I'd waste more time by blogging about the funny stuff this company sells. (There, that intro adds about another 3 minutes wasted. At this rate, I won't have to go to bed at ALL).

Call them the anti-shirt...the meta-design...or simple old-fashioned parody, in the tradition of MAD Magazine. But some youngish folks have come up with some funny wearable ideas and made them available to purchase...or in my case ("in these tough economic times"--obligatory phrase out of the way), look at and laugh often. I can't endorse all the content of these designs, but I have to say, at least SOME of these kids today do know something about concept humor. And they're genuinely nostalgic and often truthful, all at the same time.

Some of my favorites are shown here. Go to the Busted Tees site to see the rest. Some are more subtle than others, and some aren't really trying to be funny. If you can't tell which, you're probably even older than me.

Again, I don't necessarily recommend ALL the designs...but "in these troubled economic--" wait, I already used that, never mind. Anyway, if you need a laugh, click away.

Reception is everything

The folks at my local PBS affiliate really know something about customer service. Or they reallllly need those pledges. Probably both. Here's proof.

Last year I sent an e-mail to Nashville Public Television (NPT) to request that they show my friend Elvis Wilson's great documentary about Lincoln presenters. Although I did get a response, unfortunately they missed the boat on that one, even though some of the presenters showed up in another Lincoln documentary the network aired. Maybe NEXT Lincoln bicentennial, eh guys?

Recently I noticed a problem with the picture I was getting from NPT. I assumed it had to do with the advent of the new digital broadcasting format (which I can only imagine has created a plethora of scam opportunities for those so inclined).

I took a gamble that someone was still actually reading viewer e-mails...and a further gamble that they would not be looking for a nominee for the "deluded viewer of the week" contest...and the following exchange ensued:

Sunday, February 01, 2009

I watch TV via Comcast cable in Nashville on a 4:3 TV. The picture I get from you is cut off on one or both sides, although the NPT logo is usually fully visible on the lower right. I miss vital info, captions, etc. because of this problem.

Is there something that can be done about this other than my buying a new TV? Seems the other stations allow letterboxing when the signal is in wider format. I'm thinking this is either your shortcoming or that of Comcast; at least one of you apparently doesn't care about those of us with 4:3 format TV's, maybe?

Thanks for any help you can offer.

Mark

Monday, February 02, 2009

Mr. Hall-

As you probably know, all local broadcasters are turning off their analog transmitters on February 17. It was this analog signal that Comcast previously aired on their cable system. In December, in preparation for this shutoff, Comcast switched to receiving NPT’s digital signal, which is broadcast in widescreen (16:9). They must set their receiver to either letterbox everything or crop everything; there is no option to change settings depending on the program. They chose to crop the 16:9 image so that every program fills the frame. Unfortunately, for native 16:9 programs, some of the image is missing.

We can request that Comcast set their receiver to letterbox, but that means that native 4:3 programs will be smaller in your screen, and have black bars all the way around the image. We’ve been discussing the pros and cons of this change internally, and have not made such a request to Comcast yet.

Given the choice between a full screen image with parts cropped off and letterboxing with a smaller image for 4:3 programs, which do you prefer? Your input will be helpful in deciding which choice is best for our viewers.

Thanks for your help in this matter.

Kevin Crane
V.P. Content & Technology
Nashville Public TV

Monday, February 02, 2009

Mr. Crane,

I see your dilemma.

Well, until/unless I get a new TV (or get a job selling them) my personal preference would be for the option where the whole picture is there, even if I have black around 4:3 programs.

I realize there are some people who think they're being cheated if every pixel isn't lit up. And since you tend to draw the kind of viewers who can afford new & multiple TV's, I also realize I may be in the minority in having one that still works despite its age (one of the reasons I like it; reminds me of me).

But then viewers in the first group are probably going to stretch to the max regardless; if they don't care about distorting the picture I wouldn't think they cared about a little extra black in the frame, if they noticed. And those in the second group are probably watching on satellite, where I assume it's not an issue. I know that if I had made a film, picked out fonts, etc., I would want my captions to be readable, as much as I want to be able to read them as a viewer.

So that's my opinion.

Thanks for your time and indulgence,

Mark

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Mr. Hall-

NPT recently started feeding Comcast a slightly cropped, slightly letterboxed image in an attempt to split the difference between these two unsatisfactory solutions. I hope this makes the NPT image look much better on your set.

Thanks for your input on this issue.

Kevin Crane
V.P. Content & Technology
Nashville Public TV

And I looked, and he was right. Now I have that bit of black on the top and bottom of my "retro" screen. And I assume I won't have to guess the first half of the names of people on Nova and Frontline. Pretty cool. Hopefully NPT won't be deluged by complaints from those people (especially with new TV's) who feel like they're being cheated if any space in a given format is not filled with stuff (the same people who don't see the value of white space on a printed page, especially if they're paying for the printing).

See? We CAN make a difference. A lesson for the kids out there. Heck, I might even VOTE in the next election.

(Kidding. I'm not THAT naive).

(Kidding again. I did vote. For what it was worth, which, from an individual numerical stance, was not much).

Reminders of Africa

I've complained a bit about my new temp-to-permanent job I started on Jan. 8. I work for IKON Document Services, and our office handles printing for the Metro Government of Nashville and Davidson County (my former coworkers are giggling to read this; yes, I handle secret government files. Sort of. I did have to be fingerprinted). But despite the complaints, it's not bad, all things considered.

I'm definitely thankful to have a job at all these days, especially having been without work for a while. I'm downtown, so I feel like I'm in the middle of civic life, though it can have its disadvantages, such as the 5-10 minutes waiting outside for the short (often yellow) bus that transports Metro employees and vendors such as myself back to the parking lot across the river in the afternoons. I am in a basement with blue carpet...but I'm indoors (an important point given the freezing weather) working in graphics, and learning a few new things along the way (in the relational areas as well as technical). My art/design associates and former co-workers would probably either laugh or wince at the fact that I work on a pc, dealing mostly with Microsoft files, including Word and Publisher. A predecessor did pretty much everything in PhotoShop, including typesetting forms. "When your only tool is a hammer...." Thank God for the pdf file; kudos to Acrobat. And to Illustrator. Those Adobe folks rule.

I like making graphic documents look right, though I'm no genius at it. And one perk is the occasional personal high-quality print; filling my home with framed pictures of my life is one of those things that I can envision but have a hard time getting around to doing.

But I finally came up with something to put in this frame, handmade from wire by a South African (you knew I'd make the connection eventually). I didn't take the picture, but I was on the flight, and it does a lot to enhance my decorative nod to my South African experience (see the column full of info on the lower right of this page). This is the top of my CD shelf in my living room, next to my TV, so it's never far from my view at home. Along with the carved animals, also bought in Africa, it reminds me of the friends I've made through my experience with Living Hope in Cape Town. And maybe I'll even go back.

I was teasing a friend recently that her beloved collection of rubber duckies just might constitute a mild form of idolatry, as might another friend's collection of Star Wars figurines (not dolls--figurines. That's important), and many other cases where people own things to have them instead of to use them for their intended purpose (Toy Story 2, anyone?). This photo may not help my case; but of course the difference here is these things are intended to be decoration. And the CD's are to listen to, which I do. So take your best shot, Jennifer. (And yes, I see the irony, or whatever you'd call it, of the fact I'm offering idolatry topic when I'm a Baptist and work for a company called IKON).

* * *
P.S.: Even as I was writing this post, there was a Living Hope Partners Conference going on at my church, and several of my friends from South Africa were in town...I had forgotten about it! I couldn't have gone during the day, but I at least meant to drop by for the evening sessions, post-session coffee, etc. But it wasn't in my Outlook calendar, therefore it wasn't happening in my world. To quote the eloquent Homer Simpson...DOH!

The Lights are back on

While we're taking care of relatively trivial matters (see intro to previous post)...my weekends are a little brighter since "Friday Night Lights" has come back for its third season, after I had assumed it had gone the way of other well-done, entertaining shows that are at once thought-provoking and emotionally satisfying...i.e. cancellation. I've seldom been happier to be wrong. OK, that's not saying much (see previous post).


The show features characters that are realistically drawn but have interesting lives (a tender balance). Admittedly they are statistically more attractive than the average sampling of the population, but then this is a show mostly about jocks, jocks' girlfriends, cheerleaders (the latter two often being the same), and former jocks and former jocks' wives. And yes, there's a stripper or two, but they're not the heroes. In fact, that aspect (the wrong-side-of-the-tracks girl trying to better herself) is one of the many good v. evil stories that make this show interesting. Not just us v. them, Bad Guy v. Good Guy, but the inner struggles to make the BEST choices as well as the RIGHT ones, and sometimes the consequences of making bad ones. There's not much glamour even for the jocks; the photography captures the grit and ordinary nature of life in a small Texas town, far from L.A. polish. The storylines do more to bring reality to the myths of the sports hero and the "cool crowd" than the other way around. The high school football game, as looming backdrop or as center stage, is the perfect metaphor for these dramas: the lofty dreams and distant goals of life, the angst of youth as well as the hardships of adulthood, and the victories that make it all worthwhile.

Something for everyone here. Sports, romance, family, adults who care about young people as a profession and as a personal passion...not to mention morality, the pursuit of excellence, self-sacrifice for the good of the community. Some actual religion--not very well portrayed up-close, and now the girl who found change through faith has become a fallen woman--easier to write, I suppose...but I give them credit for trying.

Plus, the Southern qualities are very genuine for network TV, even the accents! Someone in Hollywood finally realized not every Southerner talks like Scarlett O'Hara, and told some actors. Or maybe some of them are actual Southerners, too. Either way, I approve!

For me it's only occasionally reminiscent of my high school days, such as when the characters who are below the upper crust are on screen. Contrary to what I'll assume you would guess (don't correct me), I was not a jock, not part of the popular crowd, and didn't do much after school hours, including attending ball games, because I lived in the sticks and rode the bus until graduation. I was not an outcast either; one friend put me in the "intelligentsia" crowd. I could talk to girls as long as I wasn't asking them out, and I did go to pep rallies when they were during school hours.

I guess it's sheer vicarious entertainment...living in my mind through other people's experiences, for an hour, once a week. That's what TV is good for, and this is good TV.

Surreality TV

Here's a completely trivial reason to break the lull in the more-or-less one-way conversation that this blog is...and challenge the credibility of my blog title (see above)...but then it's not supposed to be a doctoral thesis, either, so here goes:

I saw a friend on American Idol tonight! OK, not a close friend, but more than just a myspace "friend" at least...someone I've met, talked with, shared a table with and hugged a few times (reciprocally). But I've never been to her home or helped her move or anything like that, and this was a surprise, so we'll say she's a very friendly acquaintance. She is QUITE friendly, actually; one of her star qualities. But I was impressed the first time I saw her sing at a local writers night.

Both the pics below are linked to the video clip of Ann Marie's audition. Click to watch:



It's always fun to see people you know on TV. Unless maybe you had been in negotiation with a governor from Illinois for a certain government position...or you invested in what you swore to all your friends was NOT a pyramid scheme ("So, you trusted a guy named "Madoff" with your money...and he made off with your money? Hmmm.")...OK, it's not always fun. But this time it was, because millions of people got to see my opinion being confirmed by experts (not that I didn't know I was right): that Ann Marie has a great potential to be a successful music artist. May not seem like the kind of thing that would be a big deal to some, but then, well, maybe my need to be right is greater than most.

Not that I take all things "AI" at face value. I know it's heavily manipulated, including the freak show aspect...and I know it's not a typical open call for amateurs with no industry experience, etc. But that's entertainment. Including the emphasis, such as it is, on looks; but that's the "real" world of entertainment too, so why not?

During her audition, after a few moments of conversation and declaring her admiration for Kara DioGuardi and singing a few lines from one of Kara's songs, the judges asked her to come back later in the day and show them the star she was auditioning to be (rather than the "gushing fan" she was the first time, maybe? Not sure).

Cameras followed her outside as she consulted with her mom about shoes, hair, the jacket (on or off?) and found someone to help spruce up her makeup (due to these troubled economic times, apparently makeup artists are wandering the streets of Florida...or maybe an AI employee volunteered?).

The "instant makeover" seemed unnecessary and a little contrived, one, because Ann Marie is a gorgeous young (see, I know she's young) woman, regardless...and two, it wasn't exactly a Cinderella metamorphosis (compare the pics; the "before" look is above, and "after" is below).



Granted, the judges said they were looking for attitude to match her other assets, so maybe that came through better in the second part of the audition. Regardless, the process gave her a chance to display her willingness to cooperate and take direction...more necessary for success (in every profession) than most people realize. And, listening to your mother--nearly always a good idea, and a good example for the kids (and some adults). And it got her more camera time. So good on her.

Here's her myspace site...but you won't find her songs there, apparently due to AI rules.

If you want to hear a couple of her own songs, before they're yanked as well, go to the site she shares with her friends collectively known as "The Amateur Hour." A name they picked for themselves. Listen to "My Blue Sky" and my pick for any good "girl embraces womanhood as she enters the big world, and affirms her core identity in the process" film, "Flip Flop Girl." I thought about recommending to her that she work in a reference to a woman's prerogative to change her mind (get it? flip-flop?), but offering unsolicited song critique is pretty obnoxious even when you're right. Even I know that.

Does this include my bonus?

The job search continues. Not a fun time to be out of work (I mentioned my situation to a woman next to me as I was waiting to get my hair cut, and her response was a slightly sarcastic "Good luck!" Thanks for the encouragement, ma'am).

But you have to keep a sense of humor during the process. At least I do. A search of local positions offered by a placement service yielded the above result (click the pic to see the bigger version). Check out the salary on the Credit Analyst job at the bottom.

Yep, that's $95,680,000...almost 100 million dollars (per year, I assume). Seems a tad high, but as the page with more details clarifies, the salary could actually be much lower; it gives a range of $87,360,000 - $95,680,000. So it's not quite as unreasonable as I first thought; but still....

The job description doesn't mention it, but given what we've heard about how certain other companies are rewarding their top leaders, I suspect duties include "doing irreparable damage to the national economy by misusing other people's life savings" and "running an established financial institution into the ground" or even "maintaining a distance from common sense and monetary realities at all times, even if your actions become the subject of congressional investigation." Just a hunch.

Which reminds me, anyone care to be a reference for me?

[I mentioned the probable typo to the woman who answered the phone when I called--just in case--and she was quite surprised and amused. Thought you might want to know.]

Brandon and his Wonder Kids

This is my nephew Brandon with his two daughters, Candace and Katelyn. As if they weren't already blessed enough as it was, being related to me and all (cough!) they're a special group.

Brandon's a great dad (I can only assume this is due in part to the time I spent babysitting him early on) and a great guy.

Candace's gift speaks for itself; she has the power of hypnotizing you with her cuteness. But if you want to get close you have to wait for her initial shyness to subside; then she'll realize how cool you are and will be quietly fascinated with everything you do (especially if you show her pictures of her and people she knows).

Katelyn is cute as well, of course, but with the outgoing, toenail-painting tomboy energy of a young Lindsay Lohan (very young, as in young enough to avoid certain pitfalls and poor lifestyle choices that may make headlines but are not worthy of her; think Lindsay in The Parent Trap, NOT the Enquirer) combined with, say, the Tasmanian Devil from the Warner Bros. cartoons. Plus, she has a potential role in that TV show "Heroes" (I've heard it's good), or maybe the circus, given her gift of stretchiness. It's not as obvious in the picture as in real life, but her arms are twisted all the way around here; not something for the weak of heart to behold. Don't try this at home. Or anywhere folks are having dinner.

AND, as if that weren't enough (and some would say it were), she folds easily for transport, which is good, especially if that circus thing works out. Which, given her high level of scholastic achievement so far, should be a cinch. I can only take partial genetic credit for that; both her parents are pretty smart and have managed to pull her away from her recreational pursuits (including motorbikes) long enough to study. Of course, if she gets the call to do the next Herbie the Love Bug movie, she can do her own stunts. I'll make sure she puts that on the application.

An automotive milestone

So, OK, I forgot to monitor the speedometer after I left my parent's house on Friday, despite the fact I'd mentioned its upcoming 200k birthday several times in the past few days, including right before I left. So I missed getting a picture of the exact number (not that I couldn't PhotoShop it, but we have enough revisionist history going on, do we not?). At least this makes it easier to remember the year it happened, right?

I bought my Pontiac Sunfire in 1998, when it was a year or so old and was being put out to pasture by the rental company that owned it. It had about 30,000 miles on it at the time. The fact that the car is still running strong after all this time and mileage (all things considered) is due to a few things. I've had good mechanics I could trust, and I don't try to work on it myself; that has to be one factor. Another is that the engine was replaced after the original one died on me about four years ago. The car had 129,300 miles on it, and the replacement engine had (as best as my mechanic Jon could determine) about 60k on it. Jon, the most meticulous mechanic you're likely to meet, did a great job; let me know if you want his info.

Musician Eubie Blake said on his 90th birthday, "If I'd known I was going to live this long, I would'a taken better care of myself." I have to admit I feel the same way about my car, at least where cosmetics are concerned; I wish I had spent the money long ago on the paint job it's needed for years. Or, better, worked harder so I could afford to replace it. Sure, it gets good mileage (SUV owners, pay attention; gas prices will go back up), and it's paid for, and I don't have to worry too much about theft...but what can I say...I'm a guy, so looks matter. On the other hand, at least I don't have to worry about any women agreeing to go out with me just so they can ride in it.

Plus, I can't help but think of how, when the Israelites were in their 40-year "tour" of the wilderness on their way to the Promised Land, the Lord made their clothes and shoes last a miraculously long time. Not claiming a miracle, necessarily, but when my car starts, it's close enough to divine intervention for me.

Lincoln braves the theater again

I told you about this fascinating documentarty in a previous post. This is your second chance to see it first (before everyone else sees it on the big screen or on PBS, or both).

~At the Belcourt Theatre, Hillsboro Village (near Vanderbilt)
~Wed, Nov 19th @ 7pm
~Tickets $6.00 (includes $1 Belcourt Preservation Fee)
~Buy your tickets at the box office after 4pm or buy online (click here then click the listing on the calendar)

"A documentary. A tall tale. BEING LINCOLN is an upbeat, up close quirky look at one man's quest to become Abraham Lincoln. Visit www.beinglincoln.com to learn more."

As a bonus, you can, as the Belcourt site promises, "meet the director and producer." That would be my fellow high school alum Elvis Wilson and his wife Vickie Radford. And if you can't get near them because of the adoring crowds and hangers-on that evening, let me know and I'll introduce you later. You can tell all your friends you saw Lincoln at the theatre AND met Elvis and his wife, and not be lying (though they still might give you funny looks).

Kids, music, Africa and fame

I've been a little distracted by my ongoing job search (see the resume here...my life is an open webpage already anyway).

Had a great time visiting the music class my friend Ronda Armstrong teaches at a local elementary school. She invited a few friends to come by and play a couple of songs and talk to the kids about songwriting. They were precious. And asked some really good questions. I could do that kind of thing every day; maybe not all day every day like a real teacher...especially the mornings...but I definitely enjoy passing along what I've learned to the young 'uns.

I attended the African Leadership fundraiser banquet on Thursday. This organization is headed by Larry Warren, the man who introduced my church (and me) to Living Hope in Cape Town (and who, as I recently discovered, was in a picture I took about 9 years ago--4 years before we met). They do work in many other areas of the continent, though. One notable thing at the banquet: they showed a multimedia presentation on missions that used a Pink Floyd song. Unprecedented in my own experience...and very effective.

No more turning away
From the weak and the weary
No more turning away
From the coldness inside
Just a world that we all must share
It's not enough just to stand and stare
Is it only a dream that there'll be
No more turning away?

Enjoyed my round on Saturday at the Commodore (as much as can be expected, given my perfectionistic tendencies that are of course seldom satisfied). Unfortunately, Brandon had to back out due to a "scheduling conflict" (let's just say he learned that when one gets a new phone in which one puts one's appointments, one should be careful to transfer all said appointments). But Joni Bishop and I "soldiered on" with the extra stage time (and extra space for her instruments). Everyone was clearly impressed with Joni's talents (and I made sure to take credit for inviting her; I call it "talent by association").

And finally, here's a blog post I have to recommend (it was the original reason I started this post), by professional Nashville songwriter Regie Hamm:
LEGENDS AND URINALS
(Don't worry...the emphasis is on the "legends" part. And it's not about graffiti).

Pizza night at Safe Haven

I've had plenty of time on my hands lately, due to being "set free" (I like that better than "laid off") to pursue new sources of income (e-mail me if you want to see a resume; I'm not shy). So I was glad to offer some of it to Safe Haven. This Nashville organization offers temporary housing to families who are homeless, along with training and help toward a better situation. My singles group volunteers time with the kids during a weekly class for parents, so I was there on Wednesday evening.

On Friday I dropped by the Safe Haven center and restrung a guitar that had been missing a couple of strings. There's always at least one kid who gloms onto that instrument during the time at the shelter. I mentioned to a staff member I had seen Danielle Peck, celebrity spokesperson for Safe Haven, in an especially good writers round the night before (you feel almost guilty enjoying so much great talent in Nashville, often for free--but you get over it). This is how I heard about the pizza and movie night planned for the next evening, provided by Danielle. Based on Wednesday, I suspected they might need an extra hand, and given the aforementioned wealth of time on my hands, I offered to drop by, help out, take a few pics for the website, etc. And, hey, if I got a hot tip on an industry job, so be it (I didn't). And of course I can't deny the appeal of the chance to get to know a music artist as a "real person" as opposed to the stand-in-line-to-say-hello situation after a show. And, on top of that, a free meal. So much for pure motives. But, ultimately, it's for the kids, right?

Anyway, when I got there, Danielle's mom was cooking up a batch of delicious pizza, while Danielle and her dad stood by ready to help. Danielle freely admitted that where food is concerned she's more useful in the washing up than in the preparation; I can relate. Everyone has a place to serve! I had thought it would be a pretty wild night based on Wednesday, but it turned out to be a lot quieter than I had expected; the presence of the parents made a big difference. But I made myself useful during the movie by playing with the kids that weren't so much into Indiana Jones (the dads and older boys loved it).

It's amazing how kids reveal in their playtime what they're hearing from the world around them. Like the age-inapproprate cheers the little girls did (hey, what can you do but show support and pray they learn better ones later!). But on the positive side, one little girl did a dead-on imitation of a teacher reading to her class (I was the class); and because she couldn't read yet, she made up a story based on the pictures. And then reviewed it with me when she was done: "Now, what happened here? What animal was this?" So cool. A teacher somewhere in Nashville deserves a raise; heck, most of 'em do.

Who says pc folks ain't creative?

It's nice to know that if I ever get tired of playing guitar, I have options for making music with new sounds...and they're as close as the nearest pc.



(OK, the visual could use some work; can't have everything!).

Oak Grove CPC concert, Oct. 18

If you're going to the Ketner’s Mill Country Arts Fair or (if you're the type to get your kicks from checking out displays of vintage farm implements) the Days of Yesteryear, you might as well make the most of your scenic drive and stick around for my FREE concert that evening. Right!

On Saturday, Oct. 18, I'll be doing my usual congenial-but-with-a-serious-side-to-the-humor acoustic folk/pop thing, with my mom as special guest on piano, at Oak Grove Cumberland Presbyterian Church in Whitwell. Music will start at 7 pm CST. The church is located on Griffith Highway (TN 27) just south of Ketner's Mill.

As I've mentioned on this blog (and in enough conversations to test the patience of most of my friends), I've recently discovered some interesting (to me) family connections to the early American settlers of the Sequatchie Valley and their descendants. When I found my great-grandfather Joe P. Kelly's grave next to the Oak Grove church, and on the same visit met pastor Phillip Layne (a distant cousin and also a genealogy nut--er, enthusiast), it seemed an occasion worth marking. So I'm making this event a celebration of family heritage, both earthly and spiritual. It should be even more fun than it sounds. Really.

Via my maternal grandmother I’m related to some past “luminaries” of Marion County who distinguished themselves as military leaders, businessmen, legislators...and even the judge who presided over the Scopes Trial! Who knew? Local genealogy enthusiasts are encouraged to arrive early and/or stay late to share info, pictures and stories about Alexander Kelly, Col. James Raulston, J.G. Lankester and their families (conflicting accounts to be refereed according to current pro wrestling rules). And as Fat Albert said, “If you're not careful, you may learn something before it's done!”

Click here for a flyer you can print and share with friends! Or cover coffee stains on your cubicle walls! E-mail me for yet more details, directions and/or inquiries as to my mental health (could've guessed that one, I'll bet). Or call pastor Phillip Layne at 423-658-0854.

This one goes on his resume

"The hottest DJ in town"...with the lung damage to prove it!

This is what I call being dedicated to the job! He must have great benefits.

I'm sure all of us have had days at the office that FELT like this...but other than any firefighters in the crowd, it usually doesn't get this far.

I've heard of songs "burning up the charts" but I thought that was just an expression.

Clearly this guy didn't read the "In Case of Emergencies" brochure at employee orientation.

My obligatory post on the debate

Did you know there was a presidential debate going on last night in Nashville? Right next door to me at Belmont U.! Gee, I wish people would mention these things! You'd think the local media would give it nearly-constant coverage in advance until you start to think there's nothing else going on in town..and even to the point where you were a little sick of hearing about it. You'd think. And you'd be right.

Anyway, I didn't get a chance to watch it live; I watched a movie called "Zulu" (gotta keep that Netflix rotation on the move!) and taped the debate (or least most of it). So do me a favor and don't tell me who won. I've spent most of the day with my fingers in my ears so no one spoils it for me. La-la-la-la-la-oodloodloodl-la-la-la!

Signs of confusion

Or, Why we need more Communications majors at the TDOT.

How would you interpret this sign?

Choose one:
a) "If you want to get to I-40 East, you're on the right road--keep going."
b) "If you want to get to I-40 East, turn right here."
c) "If you want to get to I-40 East, turn left here."
d) "A toast to our favorite interstate! Hip-hip-hoorah!"

I'm not sure either. Google Maps helps clarify the situation...if you don't have that in your car, well, good luck.

This road is coming from an industrial part of Nashville. Not a place people come to see the sights. So let's go through the options quickly:

If you choose option "a" you can get to I-40, but not anytime soon and you'll still have to turn to get there...and I haven't seen any more signs to direct you on that route.

If you choose option "b" you'll find out pretty quickly that's not the way (unless you like to take the long way and have pontoons on your vehicle to get across the river).

If you choose option "c"...well, you'll go under I-40 (I don't think that's what they mean)...then you'll come to a major secondary street (Lafayette), again, with no further indication to turn or which direction the interstate might be. Either way you turn you'll come to your needed entrance eventually but in the meantime your stress level may be too high to allow safe travel, given the neighborhood you'll have wandered through on the way, unsure whether you're going the right direction and hoping you don't hit anyone as they cross the street at random locations which sometimes include crosswalks.

I'm doubting option "d" is the correct one, but you never know; these highway guys really like their work. Why else would they take so long to do it?

This from the same folks who put up important information about routes you can't identify right away because they use abbreviations known only to highway workers and maybe truckers; "S.R. 153 closed; detour west." Huh? "S.R."? "Slippery Road"? "Super Ride"? And which way is west again?

AND one of my favorite examples of anti-intuitive TDOT magic is that when you come south on Briley Parkway (after leaving the Opry or the mall), you have to veer LEFT to continue STRAIGHT on Briley, veer RIGHT then LEFT to go RIGHT (west to Nashville) or veer RIGHT then RIGHT again to go LEFT (east to Knoxville or the airport). I suspect this interchange was taken from the Rube Goldberg school of highway design. It works...just have faith.

I kid the TDOT--I do appreciate smooth roads and the often-dangerous work it takes to achieve them. I'm just sayin'...when you make your signs, keep in mind those of us who don't have psychic abilities, GPS, special powers of interpretation or a degree in civil engineering...and give us a CLUE!

A fitting tribute

As I've mentioned before, I know this person. And she's, like, famous. ABC's "Good Morning America" repeat guest famous. That's gotta be a good reflection on me, right? Somehow? I'm working on it. Click to see her latest contribution. You don't even have to be a middle-aged female with weight and/or body image issues to appreciate the humor; but I imagine it helps.

Good thing she was already in the bathroom

This disturbing sight greeted a friend of mine staying with family. Her hosts explained the doll had been soaked beyond use. I guess it goes to show that, if you insist on throwing the baby out with the bathwater...make sure there's a cover on your trash can! I'd say that goes for any anthropomorphic items you're tossing. Yeesh!