Monday, October 08, 2007

No animals were harmed in the posting of this blog

First, read this story from the Tennessean (Oct. 8):

Man pleads guilty to beating girlfriend’s pig
Staff writer
A Nashville man who beat his girlfriend’s pet pig after the woman kicked him out of the house pleaded guilty to misdemeanor animal cruelty this morning.

Carl Houston was originally charged with aggravated animal cruelty and was facing a felony conviction for beating the animal, which goes by the name of “Bacon Bit," on November 2006.

In exchange for pleading guilty to the lesser charge, Houston, 39, agreed with prosecutors to serve 11 months and 29 days probation, ordered to perform 20 hours community service and attend anger management.

He is also required to stay away from his ex-girlfriend and Bacon Bit, Davidson County District Attorney General Spokeswoman, Susan Niland said.

If you're not already giggling (though I'm sure we agree that it's wrong to mistreat animals, let's assume the pig is feeling better now) you might get a laugh out of some of these:

· It's not Mr. Houston's fault; she told him to pick on someone his own "size," and he thought she said "IQ."

· Like the saying goes, "You always hurt the one you love...or her livestock."

· Maybe he was trying to patch things up by fixing her a nice pork dinner...the hard way.

· He was making a point about how cold she was being toward him, and things just got out of hand.

· To be fair, Mr. Houston was provoked. After the woman threw him out, the animal taunted him by writing in poop "And they say I'M 'some pig'."

· Mr. Houston originally used an insanity defense, claiming he'd heard the phrase "Take HOME a PACKAGE of TENNESSEE PRIDE" one too many times.

· It's always the pets that suffer the most.

· Marv Silverman of the Jewish Defense League said "We told you people to stay away from pork."

· Early reports of Mr. Houston being contacted by recruiters from the Atlanta Falcons proved to be unfounded.

· George Jones had no comment at press time.

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