Lincoln braves the theater again

I told you about this fascinating documentarty in a previous post. This is your second chance to see it first (before everyone else sees it on the big screen or on PBS, or both).

~At the Belcourt Theatre, Hillsboro Village (near Vanderbilt)
~Wed, Nov 19th @ 7pm
~Tickets $6.00 (includes $1 Belcourt Preservation Fee)
~Buy your tickets at the box office after 4pm or buy online (click here then click the listing on the calendar)

"A documentary. A tall tale. BEING LINCOLN is an upbeat, up close quirky look at one man's quest to become Abraham Lincoln. Visit www.beinglincoln.com to learn more."

As a bonus, you can, as the Belcourt site promises, "meet the director and producer." That would be my fellow high school alum Elvis Wilson and his wife Vickie Radford. And if you can't get near them because of the adoring crowds and hangers-on that evening, let me know and I'll introduce you later. You can tell all your friends you saw Lincoln at the theatre AND met Elvis and his wife, and not be lying (though they still might give you funny looks).

Kids, music, Africa and fame

I've been a little distracted by my ongoing job search (see the resume here...my life is an open webpage already anyway).

Had a great time visiting the music class my friend Ronda Armstrong teaches at a local elementary school. She invited a few friends to come by and play a couple of songs and talk to the kids about songwriting. They were precious. And asked some really good questions. I could do that kind of thing every day; maybe not all day every day like a real teacher...especially the mornings...but I definitely enjoy passing along what I've learned to the young 'uns.

I attended the African Leadership fundraiser banquet on Thursday. This organization is headed by Larry Warren, the man who introduced my church (and me) to Living Hope in Cape Town (and who, as I recently discovered, was in a picture I took about 9 years ago--4 years before we met). They do work in many other areas of the continent, though. One notable thing at the banquet: they showed a multimedia presentation on missions that used a Pink Floyd song. Unprecedented in my own experience...and very effective.

No more turning away
From the weak and the weary
No more turning away
From the coldness inside
Just a world that we all must share
It's not enough just to stand and stare
Is it only a dream that there'll be
No more turning away?

Enjoyed my round on Saturday at the Commodore (as much as can be expected, given my perfectionistic tendencies that are of course seldom satisfied). Unfortunately, Brandon had to back out due to a "scheduling conflict" (let's just say he learned that when one gets a new phone in which one puts one's appointments, one should be careful to transfer all said appointments). But Joni Bishop and I "soldiered on" with the extra stage time (and extra space for her instruments). Everyone was clearly impressed with Joni's talents (and I made sure to take credit for inviting her; I call it "talent by association").

And finally, here's a blog post I have to recommend (it was the original reason I started this post), by professional Nashville songwriter Regie Hamm:
LEGENDS AND URINALS
(Don't worry...the emphasis is on the "legends" part. And it's not about graffiti).

Pizza night at Safe Haven

I've had plenty of time on my hands lately, due to being "set free" (I like that better than "laid off") to pursue new sources of income (e-mail me if you want to see a resume; I'm not shy). So I was glad to offer some of it to Safe Haven. This Nashville organization offers temporary housing to families who are homeless, along with training and help toward a better situation. My singles group volunteers time with the kids during a weekly class for parents, so I was there on Wednesday evening.

On Friday I dropped by the Safe Haven center and restrung a guitar that had been missing a couple of strings. There's always at least one kid who gloms onto that instrument during the time at the shelter. I mentioned to a staff member I had seen Danielle Peck, celebrity spokesperson for Safe Haven, in an especially good writers round the night before (you feel almost guilty enjoying so much great talent in Nashville, often for free--but you get over it). This is how I heard about the pizza and movie night planned for the next evening, provided by Danielle. Based on Wednesday, I suspected they might need an extra hand, and given the aforementioned wealth of time on my hands, I offered to drop by, help out, take a few pics for the website, etc. And, hey, if I got a hot tip on an industry job, so be it (I didn't). And of course I can't deny the appeal of the chance to get to know a music artist as a "real person" as opposed to the stand-in-line-to-say-hello situation after a show. And, on top of that, a free meal. So much for pure motives. But, ultimately, it's for the kids, right?

Anyway, when I got there, Danielle's mom was cooking up a batch of delicious pizza, while Danielle and her dad stood by ready to help. Danielle freely admitted that where food is concerned she's more useful in the washing up than in the preparation; I can relate. Everyone has a place to serve! I had thought it would be a pretty wild night based on Wednesday, but it turned out to be a lot quieter than I had expected; the presence of the parents made a big difference. But I made myself useful during the movie by playing with the kids that weren't so much into Indiana Jones (the dads and older boys loved it).

It's amazing how kids reveal in their playtime what they're hearing from the world around them. Like the age-inapproprate cheers the little girls did (hey, what can you do but show support and pray they learn better ones later!). But on the positive side, one little girl did a dead-on imitation of a teacher reading to her class (I was the class); and because she couldn't read yet, she made up a story based on the pictures. And then reviewed it with me when she was done: "Now, what happened here? What animal was this?" So cool. A teacher somewhere in Nashville deserves a raise; heck, most of 'em do.

Who says pc folks ain't creative?

It's nice to know that if I ever get tired of playing guitar, I have options for making music with new sounds...and they're as close as the nearest pc.



(OK, the visual could use some work; can't have everything!).

Oak Grove CPC concert, Oct. 18

If you're going to the Ketner’s Mill Country Arts Fair or (if you're the type to get your kicks from checking out displays of vintage farm implements) the Days of Yesteryear, you might as well make the most of your scenic drive and stick around for my FREE concert that evening. Right!

On Saturday, Oct. 18, I'll be doing my usual congenial-but-with-a-serious-side-to-the-humor acoustic folk/pop thing, with my mom as special guest on piano, at Oak Grove Cumberland Presbyterian Church in Whitwell. Music will start at 7 pm CST. The church is located on Griffith Highway (TN 27) just south of Ketner's Mill.

As I've mentioned on this blog (and in enough conversations to test the patience of most of my friends), I've recently discovered some interesting (to me) family connections to the early American settlers of the Sequatchie Valley and their descendants. When I found my great-grandfather Joe P. Kelly's grave next to the Oak Grove church, and on the same visit met pastor Phillip Layne (a distant cousin and also a genealogy nut--er, enthusiast), it seemed an occasion worth marking. So I'm making this event a celebration of family heritage, both earthly and spiritual. It should be even more fun than it sounds. Really.

Via my maternal grandmother I’m related to some past “luminaries” of Marion County who distinguished themselves as military leaders, businessmen, legislators...and even the judge who presided over the Scopes Trial! Who knew? Local genealogy enthusiasts are encouraged to arrive early and/or stay late to share info, pictures and stories about Alexander Kelly, Col. James Raulston, J.G. Lankester and their families (conflicting accounts to be refereed according to current pro wrestling rules). And as Fat Albert said, “If you're not careful, you may learn something before it's done!”

Click here for a flyer you can print and share with friends! Or cover coffee stains on your cubicle walls! E-mail me for yet more details, directions and/or inquiries as to my mental health (could've guessed that one, I'll bet). Or call pastor Phillip Layne at 423-658-0854.

This one goes on his resume

"The hottest DJ in town"...with the lung damage to prove it!

This is what I call being dedicated to the job! He must have great benefits.

I'm sure all of us have had days at the office that FELT like this...but other than any firefighters in the crowd, it usually doesn't get this far.

I've heard of songs "burning up the charts" but I thought that was just an expression.

Clearly this guy didn't read the "In Case of Emergencies" brochure at employee orientation.

My obligatory post on the debate

Did you know there was a presidential debate going on last night in Nashville? Right next door to me at Belmont U.! Gee, I wish people would mention these things! You'd think the local media would give it nearly-constant coverage in advance until you start to think there's nothing else going on in town..and even to the point where you were a little sick of hearing about it. You'd think. And you'd be right.

Anyway, I didn't get a chance to watch it live; I watched a movie called "Zulu" (gotta keep that Netflix rotation on the move!) and taped the debate (or least most of it). So do me a favor and don't tell me who won. I've spent most of the day with my fingers in my ears so no one spoils it for me. La-la-la-la-la-oodloodloodl-la-la-la!

Signs of confusion

Or, Why we need more Communications majors at the TDOT.

How would you interpret this sign?

Choose one:
a) "If you want to get to I-40 East, you're on the right road--keep going."
b) "If you want to get to I-40 East, turn right here."
c) "If you want to get to I-40 East, turn left here."
d) "A toast to our favorite interstate! Hip-hip-hoorah!"

I'm not sure either. Google Maps helps clarify the situation...if you don't have that in your car, well, good luck.

This road is coming from an industrial part of Nashville. Not a place people come to see the sights. So let's go through the options quickly:

If you choose option "a" you can get to I-40, but not anytime soon and you'll still have to turn to get there...and I haven't seen any more signs to direct you on that route.

If you choose option "b" you'll find out pretty quickly that's not the way (unless you like to take the long way and have pontoons on your vehicle to get across the river).

If you choose option "c"...well, you'll go under I-40 (I don't think that's what they mean)...then you'll come to a major secondary street (Lafayette), again, with no further indication to turn or which direction the interstate might be. Either way you turn you'll come to your needed entrance eventually but in the meantime your stress level may be too high to allow safe travel, given the neighborhood you'll have wandered through on the way, unsure whether you're going the right direction and hoping you don't hit anyone as they cross the street at random locations which sometimes include crosswalks.

I'm doubting option "d" is the correct one, but you never know; these highway guys really like their work. Why else would they take so long to do it?

This from the same folks who put up important information about routes you can't identify right away because they use abbreviations known only to highway workers and maybe truckers; "S.R. 153 closed; detour west." Huh? "S.R."? "Slippery Road"? "Super Ride"? And which way is west again?

AND one of my favorite examples of anti-intuitive TDOT magic is that when you come south on Briley Parkway (after leaving the Opry or the mall), you have to veer LEFT to continue STRAIGHT on Briley, veer RIGHT then LEFT to go RIGHT (west to Nashville) or veer RIGHT then RIGHT again to go LEFT (east to Knoxville or the airport). I suspect this interchange was taken from the Rube Goldberg school of highway design. It works...just have faith.

I kid the TDOT--I do appreciate smooth roads and the often-dangerous work it takes to achieve them. I'm just sayin'...when you make your signs, keep in mind those of us who don't have psychic abilities, GPS, special powers of interpretation or a degree in civil engineering...and give us a CLUE!

A fitting tribute

As I've mentioned before, I know this person. And she's, like, famous. ABC's "Good Morning America" repeat guest famous. That's gotta be a good reflection on me, right? Somehow? I'm working on it. Click to see her latest contribution. You don't even have to be a middle-aged female with weight and/or body image issues to appreciate the humor; but I imagine it helps.

Good thing she was already in the bathroom

This disturbing sight greeted a friend of mine staying with family. Her hosts explained the doll had been soaked beyond use. I guess it goes to show that, if you insist on throwing the baby out with the bathwater...make sure there's a cover on your trash can! I'd say that goes for any anthropomorphic items you're tossing. Yeesh!

Edit this...if you can

I ran across this job ad for a "content editor" on craigslist. If you can read this and tell me what the hiree will actually do, I'll give you five bucks. And a recommendation for the job.*

Content Editor (Nashville)

Key Responsibilities:

- Report to the Director on key operational issues relating to workflow, schedules and procedures across all journals and their respective Web sites. Report on monthly production metrics: benchmarks, capacities, backlogs, trends.
- Drive initiatives to streamline processes, and improve efficiencies while maintaining tight publishing schedules, cost-effective procedures, and quality control across journals. Troubleshoot and identify critical chokepoints and potential resolutions.
- Collaborate within Production and across departments, to clearly and consistently communicate production objectives, and to understand daily operational concerns and successes. Prioritize and monitor progress on outstanding issues.
- Coordinate with publishing vendor to ensure that production issues are resolved and all workflows and systems run smoothly and efficiently. Provide workarounds as necessary. Understand and identify issues relating to the Journal Management System. Ensure the team is utilizing the JMS most efficiently.
- Manage multiple, priority projects. Facilitate the efforts of key players to ensure project and operational success.
- Supervise, hire and help train new staff. Provide back up to the Director.

Imagine how sleepy everyone must get during staff meetings! Maybe the current editor knows he's getting canned, and wants to stick it to the boss one last time...? Maybe the inscrutable language is meant to weed out the less-qualified; if you have to ask, you're not the one. Or they're using the old shopkeeper's trick of misspelling the store signs on purpose to get folks to come in, then gotcha!--a sale; being intentionally unclear hoping someone will have the guts to write to them and point out their obfuscationary ways, so they can hire THAT person. Nice try, guys; nice try.

*(Monetary offer for effect only; not to be taken literally).

Happy Birthday To Us

"¡Feliz cumpleaños!" Maybe that's what singer José Feliciano would say to me if he were here (possibly backed by a horn section). And I could say it back to him (with a Southern accent of course) because it's his birthday today, too. Others sharing my birthday include golfer Arnold Palmer, reporter Charles Kuralt and Canadian first lady Margaret Trudeau, according to this website.

A couple of other folks in my department at work had a birthday yesterday, so we shared the billing on the cake (red velvet with cream cheese icing, for those of you who have to know).

Also celebrating a "birthday" today is my alma mater, the University of Tennessee, Knoxville (the original UT, if you're asking the right people). It was officially founded September 10, 1794, as Blount College. Though I've never been mistaken for being over 200 years old (yet), I already knew the university and I have much in common; UT is an institution, some say I belong in one. But in addition to that, I've recently discovered that one of the original board members for the college was my great-great-great-great-grandfather, Alexander Kelly.

According to various accounts, including the very well-written book Sequatchie: A Story of the Southern Cumberlands by Raulston and Livingood, and the research of Elizabeth Rogers Kelly in Jasper, TN, Alexander Kelly came from Ireland as an infant, grew up in Virginia (possibly in what is now West Virginia), fought in the American Revolution, and eventually moved to East Tennnessee. In the region of Knoxville, in addition to continuing in his role as military leader, he became known as a prominent businessman and legislator (those things went together back then too); in fact, he was on the roll of the very first legislature for the new state of Tennessee, representing Blount County.

Kelly eventually claimed 3,000 acres in Marion County, TN, (near Chattanooga) and established a presence there that is still evident through his descendants who live in the area, many headstones and a few place names, as I've found in my recent obsession with my family history. Yes, I've reached the age when walking around graveyards has become a fun way to spend a weekend; kind of like a treasure hunt (only no actual monetary treasure is expected in my case). I connect with Alexander Kelly by way of my maternal grandmother, Harriet Raulston Kelly Vaught. It was her pictures and documents that got me started on this whole adventure. Other people and families I've found in my research have been equally interesting; in time I'll get it all online.

Back to the present: I'll be claiming my free birthday meal at Caney Fork Fish Camp tonight, just because I can. Can't wait to see the little sleeping bags those fish use! And do they make s'mores? And out of what? And how do they heat them? A couple of friends will be joining me to celebrate my 44th. Hopefully I'll have better jokes by tonight. But don't count on it.

POSTSCRIPT: FYI, Caney Fork Fish Camp has reduced the free birthday deal to a dessert. Oh well, thanks to generous friends I still didn't have to pay for dinner. So it was all good. Plus, I got a birthday "serenade" from the bluegrass trio roaming the restaurant as a bonus!

Missions Momma Yard Sale

The Missions Momma Yard Sale on September 5 & 6 will allow shoppers to snag some great bargains and help support a Nashville teacher in her volunteer work in South Africa. Members of the Single Journey class of Brentwood Baptist Church will be offering a variety of donated items for sale at the Brittany Park Subdivision, off Bell Road near I-24, on Friday from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. and on Saturday from 7 a.m. to 4 p.m.*

House ware items, clothing, shoes, furniture, books, CDs, electronics and more will be available. A delicious array of baked goods will also be for sale at the event. All proceeds will go to Danielle Schneider in her work with children and educators in Cape Town.

Schneider recently left her job as an elementary school teacher in Nashville to volunteer for one year through Living Hope, a non-profit organization based in South Africa. Living Hope is making a difference in the lives of individuals and families in a community burdened with the HIV/AIDS pandemic, offering prevention education, home care, occupational therapy, counseling and hospice care. They also run a homeless shelter and a community radio station.

You can find more information about the yard sale and about Schneider’s daily life in Africa on her blog, www.missionsmomma.com. Brittany Park Subdivision is located at 1001 Brittany Park Drive in Antioch.

* NOTE: Early birds will be expected to help unload the truck.

Tom Sawyer the musical

Click here to see all the pics

Saw the Nashville Dinner Theatre production of Tom Sawyer this weekend. A coworker was in it, so it would have been worth going just for the potential it offered for good-natured teasing (not that he doesn't provide enough of that otherwise...he's a good sport). But it was actually good.

Good cast, though a little uneven on the acting; the variety of accents was a little distracting to my picky ear (broadcasting training will do that to a person). Which is to be expected with this level of theatre (not that I'm an expert), so no complaints there. Some of the younger ones were drama camp "graduates" and I could tell they were having a good time. The songs, by hit writer Don Schlitz ("The Gambler," "Forever & Ever Amen") were most excellent; it's easy to believe he has a ridiculous number of #1 hits. The music was good; never seen the band set up above and behind the stage before. The set, lighting and special effects were impressive.

The sound was unfortunately especially bad, and took away from everything else. People were literally holding their fingers in their ears. Other coworkers said the performance they attended had the same problem. I was in a room full of mostly older folks (the NDT is in a senior center), and kind of envied any who might have hearing aids they could turn down. I assumed the sound guy was one of those former road-warriors whose ears have been assaulted by too many decibels across too many miles, or have spent too much time between headphones, to be able to sense a proper level. He did have a tough job trying to keep up with so many microphones, so I give him credit there; on the other hand, feedback is less a problem when the volume isn't too high. And why does a person choose popular vocal music to play (also too loud) before and after acts? It competed with both the play and any conversations at the tables. Pick some other gig to show off your girlfriend's custom CD, dude; we're trying to talk here.

The dinner itself was pretty good, especially considering the play had been held over past the contract with Shoney's. The service, provided by local youth groups, was good, too. And of course, good company made it all a great evening.

Shut yo' mouth (and remove your shoes, please)

One of our esteemed representatives from Tennessee has grabbed the attention of the entertainment columnist at the Tennessean (among others) by a bold suggestion:

During Monday's funeral for Isaac Hayes, U.S. Rep. Steve Cohen said, "What would you say if you were flying into Memphis and they said you are about to land at Isaac Hayes International Airport?"

First, I'd say Rep. Cohen knows how to work a funeral. Up high, Cohen!

And, upon reflection, naming the airport after the actor/musician/producer sounds like a good idea to me; travelers have been getting the shaft at airports for years!

I can just see the uniforms for security staff...green, crimson and gold, with a pillbox hat...bald, bearded, cool shades...I dare any terrorist to disrespect!

Imagine how smooth the voiceover announcements would be...especially with that wheow-wheow guitar groove behind them...awesome (seriously, I love that song).

"Who is the man/That would book a flight for his fellow man..."

"It's a complicated route/And no one understands it but the pilot..."

(Oh, quit whining, Elvis fans, he's had more than his share of honors! At least we still have Graceland).

* * *
SIDE NOTE: The headline on the story is pretty amusing: "Rep. Cohen serious in effort to name airport after Hayes". The suggestion isn't so remarkable...it's the fact that he's serious about it!
* * *
SIDE NOTE 2: I found the caption under the picture of Cohen on his site unintentionally funny as well: "Congressman Steve Cohen speaks in support of H.Res.194, apologizing for the enslavement and racial segregation of African-Americans, which he introduced in February 2007." Oh, was HE the one who's responsible? And I could've sworn it happened longer ago than that. Hmmm. Let's be careful with those pronouns, people; a man's reputation is at stake! Talk about revisionist history! HA!
* * *
SIDE NOTE 3: I realize these side notes are actually at the bottom, not on the side, but I can live with the inaccuracy of the label; hope you can too.

What good radio sounds like

On the other hand (see previous post for the original hand), all hope is not lost in radio land. I listen to a station when I'm in Chattanooga called WUUS (no sound-out-the-call-letters nicknames, please) because a) it plays great music (meaning the music I like, mostly from the 70's) and b) it comes in sooner on my way down and lasts longer on my way home to Nashville.

Admittedly, it doesn't have quite the polished sound of the powerhouse stations (I'm pretty sure I heard either tape hiss or record scratch on a Carpenters tune they were playing--must've been taken from someone's personal collection...couldn't afford the 99 cents for a download? Are things really that tight?), but the songs and the local feel of the station make up for that.

To add to the station's list of attractive qualities, I recently found out a friend of mine and a familiar radio voice from his previous gigs, Dale Mitchell (a.k.a. Announcer Boy) is a strong presence on the air at WUUS. AND I can listen to the station via live streaming internet radio with the simple click of a button on the station's website.

Given the struggles of local radio to keep afloat due to competition with TV, digital radio, the iPod, and the internet itself, this station may not have as solid a future as, say, careers in family counseling, but I'm hoping it's around a good long time.

Gee, thanks, Arbitron!

Ever get a phone call from someone you don't know asking you for information to help them in their business, with the sole apparent benefit to you being the chance to offer your opinion...and the vaguest of possible other benefits being an immeasurably small improvement in the entertainment sphere of society? Me, too.

In my case, it was Arbitron, the company that compiles ratings for radio stations so they can justify the rates they charge for advertising. They publish a book of very specific numbers based on sampling surveys--surveys which can yield very shaky estimates at best. But you have to have numbers when you're spending money, and without the money, radio could not exist as we know it. Never mind whether that's a good thing or not.

What I found amusing is that, after about three calls from Arbitron in which they asked me to take part in their survey and I politely declined (just didn't feel like it this time, OK?), they apparently got the message. But in the meantime, they employed another clever persuasive technique--a clever combination of bribery and guilt.

Two dollars. Cash. With a nice note thanking me for my time and assuring me how important my opinion is to radio stations. You know, the stations that stopped taking requests a few years ago, because they'd rather depend on consultants and market research than say, the station employees or the actual people who take the trouble to call or email their feedback?

OK, that's an overstatement of my skepticism toward the good folks at Arbitron. And I'm not just saying that because of the gift.

But two dollars. They probably did the research and found that two dollars is just enough for most people to say "hey, cool, two dollars--maybe I'll give those nice folks a chance and take their poll if they call again--I'd feel guilty otherwise"...but not enough to break the company if that person says "hey, cool, two dollars--suckers!" And of course the "conquer them with kindness" note is intended to clinch the deal.

It's not often you get paid back for the time telemarketers and the like take from you by calling you at home to ask you questions you don't care to answer or make offers in which you have no interest. So I give Arbitron credit for a clever approach. And I wish them better luck with the next person. Suckers.

Keep mom away from the invitations

There's something about seeing her children getting ready to be married that brings out the protective instinct in a mother. Engaged couples beware. Not that MY mother would ever do this...don't you be talkin' 'bout my mama! (Really, don't; it won't go well for you).

Little did I know...

How's this for "things that make you go 'hmmmm'" (that's an Arsenio Hall reference from the early 90's, y'all): In 1999, I was still in Chattanooga, working for a fulfillment company whose main client was the media ministry of my church, filling orders for tapes, etc. by my pastor Wayne Barber, then at Woodland Park Baptist Church. I went with the boss, Wayne (pictured, left) and friend and co-worker Jennifer Ould (middle) to the National Religious Broadcasters convention, at the Opryland Hotel in Nashville that year.

Hang on, the "hmmmm" is coming.

I was mostly a tourist at the convention, took a few pictures here and there, including this one (missed a potentially great shot of Tammy Faye Baker walking around with a camera crew).

This week, I was going through my photo album (the non-computerized kind; remember paper prints?) and scanning pics for a Facebook group of friends from those days, when I realized know the man Wayne is talking to, though I didn't know him then.

Larry Warren is the founder of African Leadership, and at the time of the photo had recently moved its based of operations from Africa to Franklin, TN (near Nashville). He's the one who introduced Brentwood Baptist Church, to the ministry of Living Hope, in Cape Town, South Africa, about 5 years ago.

Meanwhile, I had moved to Nashville in September 2002, and joined BBC not long afterward. In September 2004, I was part of the first of several church-wide mission teams to go to South Africa to work with Living Hope.

And that's how I got my start in the long-distance relationship with the people across the ocean, traveling there, e-mailing, and generally yammering on about it. Like I'm doing now.

So, how's that for a "little did he know" (Stranger Than Fiction reference)...Hmmmm? OK, it's not like Larry's my long-lost twin, but still, given the number of people that were there and the small number of pics I took, that's a pretty "neato" coincidence.

As a bonus, one of my first jobs after moving to Nashville 3 years later was with the Grand Ole Opry, also owned by Gaylord and on the same property.

And I'm pretty sure that's not Condoleezza Rice to the far right...but THAT would be REALLY something, wouldn't it?

Patchwork boredom

Careful what you say to her, guys...or she'll be insisting you go with her to the National Quilt Museum as your penance.

A couple of friends of mine here in Nashville, one from Pennsylvania and the other from Maine, just got married in Hawaii; could be he was trying to make sure this place didn't end up on the honeymoon schedule.

For those of us who don't live anywhere near Massachusetts, this place makes a stay-cation seem like an even better idea.

Overheard during the tour:

"OK, honey, but next year we're going to the football AND baseball halls of fame!"

"Getting...so...sleepy...."

"No, it never would have occurred to me that Rubik's Cube would make such a natural quilt design. Never crossed my mind."

"What? All these quilts and no place to take a nap while my wife does the tour? Is there a breakroom at least? A snack machine?"

"So what kind of insecticide gets rid of those quilting bees? Heh heh. Get it?"

"I heard they were going to open a branch at Guantanamo Bay until the new restrictions on torture went into effect."

"And don't forget to visit our sister organization, the American Sheet and Pillowcase Institute, just up the road!"

(Feel free to pile on).